Psychic Ability: The Best Skill a Freelancer Can Have

Being a freelancer these days has a lot of perks: you make your own work schedule and you can work from the comfort of your home, thus you can avoid messy office politics, getting stuck in commuter traffic and blowing your ever-shrinking “gig economy” earnings on a “business casual” wardrobe and workplace lunches.

Sure, there are some challenges to freelancing, like convincing clients that your rates are reasonable while they plead poverty or hide behind budget cuts, or getting them to pay you on time (or at all), or having to diplomatically push back on their requests for additional revisions or input that they don’t feel they should have to pay extra for.

Still, the biggest challenge I’ve found as a freelancer is my lack of psychic ability.

If you’re a freelancer, you may have noticed that your clients tend to fall into two categories:

  • Small businesses that need to hire you because they don’t have the in-house talent to do what you do (e.g., marketing, Web development, etc.).
  • Middle managers in mid- to large-size companies that have downsized their marketing or IT departments into oblivion who need you to help them get the work done (without having to offer you a steady salary or benefits).

Champagne Dreams on a Spam Budget

Small business clients don’t like budgeting for anything outside of their company’s inventory, so when they reach the painful conclusion that they need to hire you to help increase their brand’s visibility, your biggest challenge is usually managing their expectations.

Even if you find yourself pricing their projects on the low end of your rate scale and they can only offer you a limited amount of work, some clients will expect your handiwork to deliver astounding results in record time.

This is when the fun starts. With some small business clients, you can expect one or both of the following outcomes:

(a) You will spend the next three months asking for your money.

(b) Your client will continue to ask/expect you to do more work outside of the scope of your original agreement until they feel they got an adequate return on their investment. Some of us foolishly keep feeding this beast in the hope that someday these clients will actually pay us for the original work.

If you were psychic, you could avoid a lot of aggravation by knowing ahead of time who won’t pay you or who will likely run you into the ground making you “earn” your money.

I May Not Know What I Want…But I Know What I Don’t Want

Sometimes it’s easier to work with mid- or large-size businesses, because the  manager who hires you is more likely to process your invoice…unless they are so overworked that they keep forgetting to do so (which happens more often than is acceptable). Still, as long as they have the budget, you’re not likely to get any push-back or experience unreasonable haggling.

The biggest challenge of freelancing for larger companies is that the mid-level managers who tend to hire you are so overworked that even though they desperately need your help, they often don’t have the time to provide you with what you need to do the job right.

As their hired gun, you’re priority No. 59 on their long to-do lists…way below assisting their VPs and other important business stakeholders, planning the company United Way drive, booking their vacations, arranging their bimonthly date nights with their spouses, finding babysitters for their children or getting their dogs groomed.

Sometimes these clients don’t even know what they’re asking for, while other times all they know is what they don’t want. And woe to the freelancer who receives limited guidance and inadvertently submits what they don’t want.

These clients expect you to have the skill to write or develop exactly what they would, if they only had the time. So what if they’ve had months or years to become well-acquainted with their company’s business objectives, and to attend company-sponsored training and meetings on a regular basis when you haven’t? You oughta know what they’re looking for, anyway, dammit!

The Phantom Lucrative Project

Another potential pitfall of being hired by a large company is one I call “the phantom lucrative project.” A typical scenario involves you blocking out weeks to do a job after being hired by a large, reputable company. Sometimes, you’ll be so happy you got the gig that you’ll celebrate by going on a shopping spree for laptops, patio furniture…or food, if things have been tight for you financially of late.

Then, you hear nothing more from them. When you contact your client, you are given excuses as to why the project is being delayed (e.g., they were on vacation, the project still needs approvals that your client wasn’t aware weren’t in place when he or she hired you, etc.).

The fact that you turned down smaller projects to work on their mega-project doesn’t resonate with them. After all, these people get paid even when they’re working on their tans in Cabo.

Sometimes, if you’re really lucky, you’ll wait for weeks to start the project only to be told that it’s been canceled (again, for any number of reasons from budget cuts, to the need to move resources to a more important project, or the project has been mothballed so long it’s actually now irrelevant…or the sponsor was terminated).

Having the psychic intuition to avoid these phantom projects would help keep you that much further away from financial ruin.

Having a pay-or-play deal in place would also help. Unfortunately, unless you have a waiting list of clients or you’re regularly profiled by the top trade media in your field, that ship won’t sail. Your prospective client will just move on to another freelancer who will agree to grant the company the option of leaving them hanging without compensation. Ah, the joys of working in the “gig economy.”

Since I wasn’t born with psychic ability, I’ve decided that the best gift I can receive this Christmas is a crystal ball that can offset my psychic shortcomings…or better yet, a winning mega-jackpot lottery ticket that would get me out from under the freelancer-client bus for good.