Corporate America Sees 50 as the New 65

If you’re over 50 and feeling your age, don’t look to Corporate America for validation; corporations these days seems to think you should quietly head to the white collar glue factory when you reach the half-century mark.

Today, long-term unemployed 50-somethings often find that reemployment is as elusive as finding a male Kardashian. Those of us who were born in the mid-60s are particularly vulnerable in this Great (lingering) Recession, even when we can find work.

According to an AARP Public Policy Institute survey, almost half of the respondents between the ages of 45 and 61 said they were earning less than they used to earn. Many also have limited or no benefits and are underemployed (working part-time).

Wedged between baby boomers and millennials, late boomers/early generation Xers who reach their 50s are being squeezed like an inconsequential economic zit. Despite our skills and professional maturity, few companies value what we offer enough to retain or hire us.

Thank God we’re a tough bunch. After all, we came of age after the boomers born in the 40s and 50s. With popular 80s mantras like “greed is good” and “the one with the most toys wins,” we knew right away that we had our work cut out for us…pun intended.

My boss at my first job out of college was a personable boomer dude who always praised my work. He dutifully gave me a raise each year; albeit a smallish one for the time, and he always apologized that he couldn’t give me more. Since we worked for a not-for-profit trade association, I never questioned his sincerity.

When he left for a cushier VP role at another company and I finally saw the budget (he never let me see it), I learned that we got PLENTY of money for raises each year; he just chose to keep most of the money for himself. Variations of this theme would pop up frequently throughout my career.

The “me generation” is STILL parked at the top of the corporate food chain. Although many of them can afford to retire in comfort, they’ve made it clear that you’ll have to pry their leadership roles out of their cold, dead hands. Too bad, Gen X.

And then there are the millennials. I feel bad that they are saddled with hideously bloated student loans, I do. But hey, they’re still young, and because they were weaned on iPads, they have plenty of time to develop an app that they can sell to Facebook for a couple of billion dollars.

I have always been an early adopter of technology, but like everyone over 45, I often find that I have to prove I’m not a Luddite. Last year, I interviewed for a management position at a digital marketing firm. My third interview was a group interrogation by the company’s late boomer CEO and his team of 20-something executives.

During the interview, one of them asked to see my phone. I think he expected me to pull out a flip phone, like one of those Jitterbug phones with the big numbers our parents like. I didn’t like my chances at that point.

Surprisingly, I got the job, but alas, it was short-lived. I was given a desk in an open floor plan, surrounded by my young colleagues. When I asked one of them one day where the printer was, he looked at me like I had crawled out of Jurassic Park; they never printed anything, he said…and they didn’t have any pens, either. So, shoot me, I thought. And that’s just what they did.

Apparently, in lieu of decent benefits and wages, this company determined that the best way to keep their young workforce from going postal while working 60 hours a week was to hand out Nerf blaster guns. Was this done to discourage them from considering real guns? Maybe. After all, sixty hour work weeks will take their toll on you, even if you are young.

Several times a day, someone would start shooting and then all hell would break loose. I was getting nailed by Nerf bullets while I was writing or on an important call. After two weeks, I took my shattered nerves and walked out of that digital romper room for the last time.

I’m not saying that we shouldn’t feel bad for the boomers who ended up on the wrong end of a Bernie Madoff deal, or for millennials who are stuck in low-paying jobs with huge student loans. We know all about them. And that’s the point.

As the Pew Research Center recently found, Generation X is “America’s neglected middle child.” We used to be too young to assume lucrative leadership roles from the boomers, and now millennials think we’re too old.

So, what to do? If few want to buy what I’m selling, maybe it’s time for me to pimp my cats on YouTube. A funny video of a cat with OCD might help put me back in the black, right?